::time:: 1.40am
::mood:: eh, scared, confused, stressed, worried
::listening to:: Stripped Rammstein cuz it's the only thing that'll keep me calm right now
::consuming:: a cigarette. mt. dew, space
::thinking about:: the news, school, work, mitch's probation, fines to be paid, how the fuck are we gonna pay rent this month, too much
::looking at:: my MP3 player, the computer screen and keyboard.
::needs and wants:: a break from a lot of things, some time to myself and to go on a shopping spree for things that I need the most
::wearing:: jean, shoes, element shirt and jacket, the usual



::TODAY:: Well, a lot has gone on in the week or so since I've signed on. Mitch has still yet to find a job and help me come up with a way to pay rent, or his fine, or go to a Drug and Alcohol evaluation before he sees his P.O. on the 17th. Uh! I can't have him go to jail, I don't need anything else to come crashing down on me especially my life companion going to jail for god knows how long. Well, last weekend I found out I was pregnant and of course I'm excited to bringing new life into the world but not now. Not before I go to school or start getting my life barely on track. But I can't do anything about it. Just gotta take care of myself well so I can take care of the baby.
I just need a day to myself and just to be alone for a while. I've got too much stress at work and when I come home I have more stress here with rent and Mitch and now I'm pregnant and I just need someone to give me a break for a little bit. I know the real world is hard but I just need sometime to take a breath and know everything in the future is gonna be ok. I hope I can make it the next couple of days without giving up all hope. I'm not gonna kill myself, I'll just flip out on Mitch and I know he'll just get mad and not really listen to me.